Holy Cross Orthodox Church
serving the Antelope Valley
38201 6th St E, Palmdale, California
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How to Set Up a Prayer Corner
Prayer Corner
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Confession
Guide to Confession

 

Before confession
  • Pray for guidance: Begin with prayer, asking God to help you see your sins and confess them honestly. You can use a prayer book or ask your priest for guidance on specific prayers.
  • Examine your conscience: Reflect on your life, both recent sins and those you may have forgotten. Consider your thoughts, words, and deeds. (Use the Little Red Prayer Book for questions to ask yourself, write them down)
  • Review the Ten Commandments: Consider if you have broken any of the commandments, such as taking God's name in vain, dishonoring your parents, or coveting your neighbor's goods.
  • Reflect on specific sins: Think about anger, lying, gossip, stealing, pride, disobedience, or neglect of prayer and church services.
  • Be honest and sincere: Remember that you are confessing to God, who already knows your sins. The goal is not to shame yourself before the priest but to sincerely repent. 
 
During confession
  • Approach with humility: Go to the priest with a contrite heart and without excuses. Kiss the cross.  He places the epitrachelion over your head. It's enough to say, "I have sinned," and then name the sins.
  • Confess your sins: Honestly and openly state your sins, you can read from your list if it makes you more comfortable.  If the priest asks questions, provide more details. Remember, the priest is not your judge but your spiritual guide.
  • Receive absolution: Listen as the priest reads the prayer of absolution, which will forgive your sins. You will then be asked to kiss the cross and Gospel. 
 
After confession
  • Take the priest's advice: Pay close attention to any advice or counsel the priest gives you. It is important to remember it and to try to avoid repeating the confessed sins.
  • Strive to change: Your goal is to amend your life and not return to the same sins. Take care of your spiritual state and continue to pray. 

 

Confession
Guide to Confession

SIMPLE GUIDE FOR ORTHODOX CONFESSION by — † Fr. George Popovich.

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.”
(Matthew 9:12)

Confession is not something to fear.
It is something to run toward.

In the Orthodox Church, confession is not about shame or punishment—it is about healing, restoration, and coming home to God.

What Is Orthodox Confession?

Orthodox Confession is a holy encounter with Christ Himself.

The priest stands before you not as a judge, but as a witness and physician of the soul. Christ stands invisibly present, receiving your confession and granting forgiveness.

Confession is:
• Not therapy
• Not a courtroom
• Not a formality

It is the place where truth meets mercy.

We do not confess because God does not know our sins.
We confess so that our hearts may be opened and healed by grace.

Why Do We Confess?

We confess because sin is not merely a mistake- it is a wound.

Sin:
• Clouds the heart
• Weakens the will
• Breaks communion with God and others

Confession restores what was broken.
It renews baptismal grace.
It prepares us to receive Holy Communion with peace, not fear.

Christ gave this gift to the Church because He knows that we fall, and He desires that we rise again.

When Is the Right Time to Confess?

Confession should never be rushed or treated as a last-minute obligation.

It should not normally be done hastily right before the Divine Liturgy, when there is no time for reflection, stillness, or spiritual guidance.

The Traditional Time: Saturday Evening

In the Orthodox tradition, one of the most fitting and natural times for confession is Saturday evening, after Vespers or the Vigil service, according to each parish’s schedule.

Why Saturday evening?
• You have lived the full week
• You have struggled, prayed, and examined your heart
• You approach Sunday already reconciled with God

This allows the faithful to receive Holy Communion peacefully and reverently, without anxiety or haste.

How Often Should We Confess?

There is no strict numerical rule in the Orthodox Church.

Confession is not governed by legalism, but by spiritual need.

The Basic Orthodox Principle

You should confess whenever you feel the need to confess - when your conscience is burdened, when sin disturbs your peace, or when you feel distant from God.

The Minimum: Four Times Per Year

Traditionally, the minimum expectation for an Orthodox Christian is four confessions and four communions per year, connected to the major fasting seasons and feasts of the Church:
• Nativity (Christmas) Fast
• Great Lent and Pascha
• Apostles’ Fast
• Dormition (Theotokos) Fast

These four moments correspond to the liturgical and Eucharistic rhythm of the year, reminding us that repentance and communion are woven into the Church’s life.

The Ideal: Monthly Confession

For Christians who are actively living the Orthodox life, a monthly confession is highly beneficial and often ideal.

Monthly confession:
• Keeps the conscience sensitive
• Prevents sins from becoming habits
• Allows steady spiritual growth
• Strengthens preparation for frequent Communion

As a pastoral recommendation:
Once per month is a healthy and balanced rhythm for serious Christian life.

The Importance of the Spiritual Father

Confession is inseparable from spiritual fatherhood.

A spiritual father:
• Knows your soul over time
• Discerns patterns, not just individual sins
• Applies the Church’s canons with mercy and wisdom
• Helps heal without crushing the spirit

Spiritual obedience is not control—it is medicine.
Growth comes through trust, stability, and humility.

How Do We Confess?

Confession is simple and honest.

You do not need beautiful words.
You do not need explanations.
You do not need to blame anyone.

You simply say:
“I have sinned…”

Confess clearly.
Speak plainly.
Take responsibility.
Desire repentance.

Truth spoken humbly opens the door to grace.

Preparing the Heart for Confession

Before confession:
• Pray quietly
• Ask God to show you your sins
• Examine your conscience honestly

Do not try to remember everything.
Confess what weighs most heavily on your heart.

⸻———————-

A Gentle Reminder of Sins

Sins Against God:
• Neglect of prayer
• Forgetting God in daily life
• Doubt, fear, or lack of trust
• Complaining against God
• Taking God’s mercy for granted

Sins Against Faith and the Church:
• Irregular church attendance
• Neglect of fasting
• Disrespect toward holy things
• Judgment of the Church
• Receiving Holy Communion unworthily

Sins of Pride:
• Pride and self-righteousness
• Judging others
• Vanity
• Refusal to admit fault
• Spiritual arrogance

Sins of Thoughts and the Heart:
• Impure thoughts
• Hatred and resentment
• Envy and jealousy
• Fantasies of revenge
• Despair and hopelessness

Sins of Words:
• Lying
• Gossip
• Slander
• Harsh or cruel speech
• Cursing

Sins in Relationships:
• Lack of forgiveness
• Anger toward family members
• Neglect of spouse or children
• Disrespect toward parents
• Indifference to others’ suffering

Sins of the Body:
• Sexual impurity
• Lack of self-control
• Addiction or excess
• Laziness

Sins Against Love and Mercy;
• Indifference to the poor
• Hardness of heart
• Selfishness
• Refusal to reconcile

What Confession Is - and What It Is Not

Confession is not about perfection.
It is about honesty.

Confession is not about humiliation.
It is about freedom.

Confession is not the end.
It is the beginning of healing.

Come Without Fear

Do not fear confession.
Fear remaining wounded.

Christ does not wait to accuse you.
He waits to heal you.

One sincere tear,
one honest word,
one humble confession—

is enough to open heaven.

Come and be healed!

In Christ,
† Fr. George Popovich

@Djordje Popović (Father George)

Your First Visit to an Orthodox Church
Visiting an Orthodox Church

12 THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN…

by Frederica Mathewes-Green

Orthodox worship is different! Some of these differences are apparent, if perplexing, from the first moment you walk in a church. Others become noticeable only over time. Here is some information that may help you feel more at home in Orthodox worship—twelve things I wish I’d known before my first visit to an Orthodox church.

1. A Sense of Holiness

If you are from a Protestant or non-liturgical tradition, you may feel overwhelmed the minute you walk in the door of an Orthodox church. You will find yourself surrounded by a blaze of color in the priests’ vestments and the icons that adorn the walls. The pungent odor of incense will assault your nose, possibly making you sneeze. Rich, deeply moving but unfamiliar music will fill your ears. All around you people will be doing things – lighting candles, kissing icons, making the sign of the cross, bowing, standing in prayer – everything but sitting still. To someone accustomed to four bare walls and a pulpit, all this may seem pretty strange. It is important to remember that none of this is an end in itself. Everything we see, hear, smell, touch, taste or do in the Orthodox Church has one purpose and one purpose only: to lead us closer to God. Since God created us with physical bodies and senses, we believe He desires us to use our bodies and senses to grow closer to Him.

2. Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus

In the Orthodox tradition, the faithful stand through nearly the entire service. Really. In some Orthodox churches, there won’t even be any pews, just a few chairs scattered at the edges of the room for the elderly and infirm. Expect some variation in practice: older churches, especially those that purchased already-existing church buildings, will have well-used pews. In any case, if you find the amount of standing too challenging, you’re welcome to take a seat. It gets easier with practice.

3. By This Sign, Pray

To say that we make the sign of the cross frequently would be an understatement. We sign ourselves whenever the Trinity is invoked, whenever we venerate the cross or an icon, and on many other occasions in the course of the Liturgy. But people aren’t expected to do everything the same way. Some cross themselves three times in a row, and some finish by sweeping their right hand to the floor. Often before venerating an icon, people will cross themselves twice, bowing each time with their right hand to the floor, then kiss the icon, then cross themselves and bow again. Don’t worry; that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. We cross with our right hands, touching forehead, chest, right shoulder, then left shoulder to end over the heart, the opposite of Catholics/Episcopalians. We hold our hands in a prescribed way: thumb and first two fingertips pressed together, the last two fingers pressed down to the palm. Here as elsewhere, the Orthodox impulse is to make everything we do reinforce the Faith. Can you figure out the symbolism? (The three fingers held together represent the Trinity; the two fingers against the palm represent the two natures of Christ.)

4. What, No Kneeling?

Generally, we don’t kneel on Sundays. We do sometimes prostrate. This is not like prostration in the Catholic tradition, lying out flat on the floor. To make a prostration we kneel, place our hands on the floor, and touch our foreheads between our hands. At first, prostration feels embarrassing, but no one else is embarrassed, so after a while, it feels more natural. Sometimes we do this and get right back up again, as during the prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian, which is used frequently during Lent. Other times we get down and stay there awhile, as during a portion of the eucharistic prayer. Not everyone prostrates. Some kneel, some stand with head bowed, or sit crouched over. Standing there feeling awkward is all right, too. No one will notice if you don’t prostrate. In Orthodoxy, there is an acceptance of individualized expressions of piety, rather than a sense that people are watching you and getting offended if you do it wrong. One former Episcopal priest said that seeing people prostrate themselves was one of the things that made him most eager to become Orthodox. He thought, “That’s how we should be before God.”

5. Pucker Up

We kiss things. When we first come into the church, we kiss the icons (Jesus on the feet, and saints on the hands, ideally). You’ll also notice that some kiss the chalice, some kiss the edge of the priest’s vestment as he passes by, the acolytes kiss his hand when they give him the censer, and we all line up to kiss the cross at the end of the service.We kiss each other (“Greet one another with a kiss of love.” 1 Peter 5:14) before we take communion. When Catholics/Episcopalians pass the peace, they give a hug, handshake or peck on the cheek; that’s how Westerners greet each other. In Orthodoxy different cultures are at play: Greeks and Arabs kiss once on each cheek; the Slavs come back again for a third. Parishes with lots of American converts may give a hearty bear hug. Follow the lead of those around you and try not to bump your nose.The usual greeting is “Christ is in our midst,” with the response, “He is and shall be.” Don’t worry about getting it wrong. The greeting is not the previously familiar “The peace of the Lord be with you,” nor is it “Hi, nice church you have here.”

6. Blessed Bread and Consecrated Bread

Only Orthodox may take communion, but anyone may have some of the blessed bread. Here’s how it works: the round communion loaf, baked by a parishioner, is imprinted with a seal. In the preparation service before the Liturgy, the priest cuts out a section of the seal and sets it aside; it is called the “Lamb.” The rest of the bread is cut up and placed in a large basket and blessed by the priest. During the eucharistic prayer, the Lamb is consecrated to be the Body of Christ, and the chalice of wine is consecrated as His Blood. Here’s the surprising part: the priest places the Lamb in the chalice. When we receive communion, we file up to the priest, standing and opening our mouth wide while he gives us a portion of the wine-soaked bread from a spoon. He also prays over us, calling us by our first name or by the saint-name which we chose when we were baptized or chrismated (received into the Church).As we file past the priest, we come to an altar boy holding a basket of blessed bread. People will take portions for themselves and for visitors and non-Orthodox friends around them. If someone hands you a piece of blessed bread, do not panic; it is not the eucharistic Body. It is a sign of fellowship.

7. No General Confession?

In our experience, we don’t have any general sins; they’re all quite specific. There is no complete confession prayer in the Liturgy. Orthodox are expected to be making regular, private confession to Christ in the presence of their priest. The role of the pastor is much more that of a spiritual father than it is in other denominations. He is not called by his first name alone, but referred to as “Father Firstname.” His wife also holds a special role as parish mother, and she gets a title too, though it varies from one culture to another. Some of the titles used are “Khouria” (Arabic), or “Presbytera” (Greek), both of which mean “priest’s wife;” or “Matushka” (Russian), which means “Mama.” Another difference you will probably notice is in the Nicene Creed, which may be said or sung, depending on the parish. In the Creed we affirm that the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father, but we don’t add “and the Son,” as Western denominations do. In this we adhere to the Creed as it was originally written.

8. Music, Music, Music

About seventy-five percent of the service is congregational singing. Traditionally, Orthodox use no instruments, although some churches will have organs. Usually, a small choir leads the people in acapella harmony, with the level of congregational response varying from parish to parish. The style of music varies as well, from very Oriental-sounding solo chanting in an Arabic church to more Western-sounding four-part harmony in a Russian church, with lots of variations in between. This constant singing is a little overwhelming at first; it feels like getting on the first step of an escalator and being carried along in a rush until you step off ninety minutes later. It has been fairly said that the Liturgy is one continuous song. What keeps this from being exhausting is that it’s pretty much the same song every week. Relatively little changes from Sunday to Sunday; the same prayers and hymns fall in the same places, and before long you know it by heart. Then you fall into the presence of God in a way you never can when flipping from prayer book to bulletin to hymnal.

9. No Shortcuts

Is there a concise way to say something? Can extra adjectives be deleted? Can the briskest, most pointed prose be boiled down one more time to a more refined level? Then it’s not Orthodox worship. If there’s a longer way to say something, the Orthodox will find it. In Orthodox worship, more is always more, in every area including prayer. When the priest or deacon intones, “Let us complete our prayer to the Lord,” expect to still be standing there fifteen minutes later. The original Liturgy lasted something over five hours; those people must have been on fire for God. The Liturgy of St. Basil edited this down to about two and a half, and later (around 400 A.D.) the Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom further reduced it to about one and a half. Most Sundays we use the St. John Chrysostom Liturgy, although for some services (e.g., Sundays in Lent, Christmas Eve) we use the longer Liturgy of St. Basil. When you arrive for Divine Liturgy on Sunday morning, worship will already be in progress and you will feel chagrined at arriving late. You are not late; the priest, cantors and some parishioners are just winding up Matins, which began about an hour before. Divine Liturgy follows on its heels, with the posted starting time only approximate. Before Matins, the priest has other preparatory services; he will be at the altar for a total of more than three hours on Sunday morning, “standing in the flame,” as one Orthodox priest put it. Orthodoxy is not for people who find church boring!

10. I’m Just Wild About Mary

We love her and it shows. What can we say? She’s His Mom. We often address her as “Theotokos,” which means “Mother of God.” In providing the physical means for God to become man, she made possible our salvation. Not that we think she or any of the other saints have magical powers or are demigods. When we sing “Holy Theotokos, save us,” we don’t mean “save” in an eternal sense, as we would pray to Christ; we mean “protect, defend, take care of us here on earth.” Just as we ask for each other’s prayers, we ask for the prayers of Mary and the other saints as well. They’re not dead, after all, just departed to the other side. Icons surround us, in part, to remind us that all the saints are joining us invisibly in our worship.

11. The Three Doors

Every Orthodox church will have an iconostasis before its altar. “Iconostasis” means “icon-stand.” In a mission parish it can be as simple as a large image of the Virgin and Child on an easel on the left, a matching image of Christ on the right. In a more established church, the iconostasis may be a literal wall, adorned with many icons. The basic set up of two large icons creates, if you use your imagination, three doors. The central opening, in front of the altar itself, usually has two doors, called the “Royal Doors,” because that is where the King of Glory comes out to the congregation in the Eucharist. Only the priest and deacons, who bear the Eucharist, use the Royal Doors. The openings on the other sides of the two main icons, if there is a complete iconostasis, have doors, with icons of angels; they are termed the “Deacon’s Doors.” Altar boys and others with business behind the altar use these, although no one is to go through any of the doors without an appropriate reason. Altar service – priests, deacons, altar boys – is restricted to males. Females are invited to participate in every other area of church life. Their contribution has been honored equally with that of males since the days of the martyrs; you can’t look around an Orthodox church without seeing Mary and other holy women. In most Orthodox churches, women do everything else men do: lead congregational singing, paint icons, teach classes, read the epistle and serve on the parish council.

12. Are Americans Welcome?

Flipping through the Yellow Pages in a large city you might see a multiplicity of Orthodox churches: Greek, Romanian, Carpatho-Russian, Antiochian, Serbian, and on and on. Is Orthodoxy really so tribal? Do these divisions represent theological squabbles and schisms? Not at all. All these Orthodox bodies are one church. The ethnic designation refers to what is called the parish’s “jurisdiction” and identifies which bishops hold authority there. There are about 6 million Orthodox in North America and 250 million in the world, making Orthodoxy the second-largest Christian community.

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Holy Cross is a Parish Church of the Diocese of Los Angeles and the West under His Grace Bishop Anthony
Antiochian Christian Archdiocese of North America, Metropolitan Saba